One warm summer’s evening, an elderly couple sat together outside their home watching the sunset.
After a long silence, the man turned to his wife and, looking at the years of experience carved into her face, asked: “Is there anything that you regret after all these years?”
Looking at her husband, the old lady’s mind was far away, thinking over her many memories, both joyful and painful.
“Yes,” she said, “I wish I had given more of myself to other people.” Then the two looked straight ahead silently as they sat in the glow of the fading sun, pondering the thought.
There are few people who do not stop now and then and think about what the future has in store for their lives. Have you thought about what will become of you in a few years? Maybe you will be a college professor, or will go into business, or perhaps someday you may even go into space as an astronaut!
Imagine you have gathered with your classmates to celebrate the 20th anniversary of your high school graduation. Most of them have spouses and children, as do you. One of your classmates may have become a doctor, another a teacher, and another a farmer. What things will be most important in your life by that time? What would be the first thing you would tell the friends whom you haven't seen for such a long time? Would you tell them about your work, your family, your car, your travels, or something else?
Now imagine now the 40th reunion of your high school class. Probably by now grandchildren have entered the picture and will be a big part of your conversation. Maybe you’ve bought a nice new home. Perhaps retirement is on the horizon. What would you like to be like at this age? How do you think you can get there from here and now?
Time passes
In our childhood and youth, adult life may seem very far away. But time passes, and what once seemed like the distant future suddenly has become our reality.
As times goes on, what shape and direction is our life taking? What are we proud of about ourselves? What do we regret? If we think about such things now, perhaps in the future we will not be looking back in sadness, wishing we had done things differently and realizing that it has become too late to change anything.
Have you ever peered into an old person's face? Have you ever spoken to any elderly people other than your own grandmother and grandfather? Next time you get a chance, try to pay attention to these people. You may see them sitting in a park, walking with their dog or grandchild, or perhaps in line at the local supermarket. Without being rude, study their faces and bodies. Look at the wrinkles around the eyes, the long lines along their cheeks, their stooped shoulders and shuffled steps. For some of them, they may be feeling that their whole life has already passed them by. Their only thoughts are about their next pension check and keeping food on the table. Others remain active in their family and community life. They spend time with their grandchildren, are part of a bridge club, help out at the local community center, and perhaps even play tennis or go bowling each week with friends.
Tragically, many people come to the later years of their lives drained of all energy and desire to do anything. They spend their time wondering what it was all for. Looking back, they strain to find meaning in what they did with their lives, in the relationships they made with others, and in the various events that took place. They look back and wonder about the choices they made. They ask themselves, “What if I had done this instead of that?” Then, they feel, their whole life could have gone in a completely different direction.
There are countless times when we are presented with choices: whether to go to college or into the armed services, whether to marry someone or not, whether to move to another part of a country or to a different country, or whether to change careers. Some of these choices result in difficulties and pain, perhaps even disillusionment. As a result, in their old age, people may find themselves always irritable and unhappy because of the choices they made in their lives. They think, “If only I could live my life over again, I would make different choices.” The tragic reality is, however, that it is impossible. To find oneself in such a situation can feel very depressing and hopeless. And the constant question in the back of the person’s mind is: “What was it all for? What was the meaning of my life?” No regrets
On the other hand, you are sure to come across other elderly people whose wrinkled and lined faces are full of inner beauty and energy despite their age. You cannot find any anger, irritability, or resentment in them. They seem to have reached the autumn of their lives without any bitter feelings, even though they may have had a difficult life in many ways. They have no regrets about their past life. They face their increasingly helpless and unattractive old age with courage and spiritual strength. Despite their hardships, or maybe even because of them, they have come to understand something about the true meaning of life. They know that in the end it has nothing to do with external success but rather with internal qualities of the heart and spirit. By the end of a person's life the face has become wrinkled, the hair is gray and thin, and the body is no longer strong and attractive.
Position, money, career — all these things are in the past. What is the secret of those elderly people who seem to still have the spark of life? Where does their inner beauty and radiance come from? Did they simply have a more easy and successful life? Did they not experience the sorrow and grief that other people did? Or did they find a dignified way to overcome their difficulties?
It is worth thinking about what our own old age will be like before we start making the choices that will determine our life. If we are wise and careful, we can go through life without regrets and disappointments as we grow older. Instead, we can arrive at our “golden years” with a feeling of serene wisdom and harmony within ourselves and with our surroundings. Life is simple. What we give out, we get back.
Questions for Reflection
1. What is most important to you now in your life?
2. What do you think will be most important to you twenty years from now? Thirty years? Forty years?
3. What do you wish to accomplish in your life?
4. What kind of personal relationships with others do you want to develop in your life?
5. Are the most important things in life material?
6. Why do you think some people experience regret at the end of their lives?
7. Do you have any regrets?
8. How do you deal with difficulties in your life?
9. What qualities do you most admire and respect in people?
10. How would you like to be remembered after you are gone?
Exercise: “Personal Interview”
For this exercise, find an elderly person to interview. It could be one of your own grandparents, a neighbor, or just someone you meet in the park. You may add some questions of your own if you wish.
1. What has been most important to you in your life?
2. What quality in your character has helped you get through the difficult periods of your life?
3. What qualities do you most admire and respect in people?
4. What has made your personal relationships closer? What has made them difficult?
5. What is your biggest accomplishment?
6. What was your most memorable experience? Why?
7. What do you feel you have contributed to your family, friends, community, nation and/or the world?
8. What was your biggest struggle in life?
9. How do you want to be remembered?
10. What do you regret?
Additional Questions:
Afterwards think about what you learned personally from the interview. Is there anything the person said that struck you in particular? Anything that made you reflect on your own life? What is your personal opinion of the person you interviewed?
Reflection Exercise: “Living Life Over”
Make a list of all the things you have done that, if given the chance, you would do differently.Next to each item explain why you feel that way; then state exactly what you would do differently if you could. Which of the items is it already too late to do anything about (for example, deciding to drop out of the Girl Scouts or Boy Scouts three years ago)? Which ones could you still possibly correct (for example, the quarrel you had last week with your best friend)? Regarding the second group, make a concrete plan to make things better. __
After a long silence, the man turned to his wife and, looking at the years of experience carved into her face, asked: “Is there anything that you regret after all these years?”
Looking at her husband, the old lady’s mind was far away, thinking over her many memories, both joyful and painful.
“Yes,” she said, “I wish I had given more of myself to other people.”
Then the two looked straight ahead silently as they sat in the glow of the fading sun, pondering the thought.
There are few people who do not stop now and then and think about what the future has in store for their lives. Have you thought about what will become of you in a few years? Maybe you will be a college professor, or will go into business, or perhaps someday you may even go into space as an astronaut!
Imagine you have gathered with your classmates to celebrate the 20th anniversary of your high school graduation. Most of them have spouses and children, as do you. One of your classmates may have become a doctor, another a teacher, and another a farmer. What things will be most important in your life by that time? What would be the first thing you would tell the friends whom you haven't seen for such a long time? Would you tell them about your work, your family, your car, your travels, or something else?
Now imagine now the 40th reunion of your high school class. Probably by now grandchildren have entered the picture and will be a big part of your conversation. Maybe you’ve bought a nice new home. Perhaps retirement is on the horizon. What would you like to be like at this age? How do you think you can get there from here and now?
Time passes
In our childhood and youth, adult life may seem very far away. But time passes, and what once seemed like the distant future suddenly has become our reality.
As times goes on, what shape and direction is our life taking? What are we proud of about ourselves? What do we regret? If we think about such things now, perhaps in the future we will not be looking back in sadness, wishing we had done things differently and realizing that it has become too late to change anything.
Have you ever peered into an old person's face? Have you ever spoken to any elderly people other than your own grandmother and grandfather? Next time you get a chance, try to pay attention to these people. You may see them sitting in a park, walking with their dog or grandchild, or perhaps in line at the local supermarket. Without being rude, study their faces and bodies. Look at the wrinkles around the eyes, the long lines along their cheeks, their stooped shoulders and shuffled steps. For some of them, they may be feeling that their whole life has already passed them by. Their only thoughts are about their next pension check and keeping food on the table. Others remain active in their family and community life. They spend time with their grandchildren, are part of a bridge club, help out at the local community center, and perhaps even play tennis or go bowling each week with friends.
Tragically, many people come to the later years of their lives drained of all energy and desire to do anything. They spend their time wondering what it was all for. Looking back, they strain to find meaning in what they did with their lives, in the relationships they made with others, and in the various events that took place. They look back and wonder about the choices they made. They ask themselves, “What if I had done this instead of that?” Then, they feel, their whole life could have gone in a completely different direction.
There are countless times when we are presented with choices: whether to go to college or into the armed services, whether to marry someone or not, whether to move to another part of a country or to a different country, or whether to change careers. Some of these choices result in difficulties and pain, perhaps even disillusionment. As a result, in their old age, people may find themselves always irritable and unhappy because of the choices they made in their lives. They think, “If only I could live my life over again, I would make different choices.” The tragic reality is, however, that it is impossible. To find oneself in such a situation can feel very depressing and hopeless. And the constant question in the back of the person’s mind is: “What was it all for? What was the meaning of my life?”
No regrets
On the other hand, you are sure to come across other elderly people whose wrinkled and lined faces are full of inner beauty and energy despite their age. You cannot find any anger, irritability, or resentment in them. They seem to have reached the autumn of their lives without any bitter feelings, even though they may have had a difficult life in many ways. They have no regrets about their past life. They face their increasingly helpless and unattractive old age with courage and spiritual strength. Despite their hardships, or maybe even because of them, they have come to understand something about the true meaning of life. They know that in the end it has nothing to do with external success but rather with internal qualities of the heart and spirit.
By the end of a person's life the face has become wrinkled, the hair is gray and thin, and the body is no longer strong and attractive.
Position, money, career — all these things are in the past. What is the secret of those elderly people who seem to still have the spark of life? Where does their inner beauty and radiance come from? Did they simply have a more easy and successful life? Did they not experience the sorrow and grief that other people did? Or did they find a dignified way to overcome their difficulties?
It is worth thinking about what our own old age will be like before we start making the choices that will determine our life. If we are wise and careful, we can go through life without regrets and disappointments as we grow older. Instead, we can arrive at our “golden years” with a feeling of serene wisdom and harmony within ourselves and with our surroundings.
Life is simple. What we give out, we get back.
Questions for Reflection
1. What is most important to you now in your life?
2. What do you think will be most important to you twenty years from now? Thirty years? Forty years?
3. What do you wish to accomplish in your life?
4. What kind of personal relationships with others do you want to develop in your life?
5. Are the most important things in life material?
6. Why do you think some people experience regret at the end of their lives?
7. Do you have any regrets?
8. How do you deal with difficulties in your life?
9. What qualities do you most admire and respect in people?
10. How would you like to be remembered after you are gone?
Exercise: “Personal Interview”
For this exercise, find an elderly person to interview. It could be one of your own grandparents, a neighbor, or just someone you meet in the park. You may add some questions of your own if you wish.
1. What has been most important to you in your life?
2. What quality in your character has helped you get through the difficult periods of your life?
3. What qualities do you most admire and respect in people?
4. What has made your personal relationships closer? What has made them difficult?
5. What is your biggest accomplishment?
6. What was your most memorable experience? Why?
7. What do you feel you have contributed to your family, friends, community, nation and/or the world?
8. What was your biggest struggle in life?
9. How do you want to be remembered?
10. What do you regret?
Additional Questions:
Afterwards think about what you learned personally from the interview. Is there anything the person said that struck you in particular? Anything that made you reflect on your own life? What is your personal opinion of the person you interviewed?
Reflection Exercise: “Living Life Over”
Make a list of all the things you have done that, if given the chance, you would do differently.Next to each item explain why you feel that way; then state exactly what you would do differently if you could. Which of the items is it already too late to do anything about (for example, deciding to drop out of the Girl Scouts or Boy Scouts three years ago)? Which ones could you still possibly correct (for example, the quarrel you had last week with your best friend)? Regarding the second group, make a concrete plan to make things better.
__